Vacation and then Decisions

I've pretty much been a wreck this week.  There is something wrong with most parts of my body.  I have an infection on my scalp, stomach problems, muscle pain issues, mouth issues.   I've spoken or been into the doctors office or pharmacy daily.  Yet still I have managed to work a few hours each day.  The rest of the time, I've spent way too long watching the entire 3rd and 4th season of West Wing.  Add in a few MASH episodes each night and that is my life.  I jokingly volunteered to be put down like a dog but Ken scoffed. 

I can write this now because I feel better and I am excited to leave for Scottsdale this afternoon.  I am looking forward to 4 days in the sun.  I love the feeling of the sun on your face, that impossible brightness that burns through your eyelids even when they are closed.  Desert and air.  I haven't been out much since December between the surgery, chemo and the Chicago winter.  I am excited to breathe desert air. 

When I get back the nurse I have been working with scheduled a visit with the oncologist.  It seems that "it" isn't supposed to be this bad.  I am not supposed to be quite this debilitated.  She wants to discuss with him changing my chemo regimen.  She told me that she has a 70 year old woman on the same treatment as mine who has had zero side effects.  I am just lucky I guess.  So there are more decisions to be made next week.  What are my options for treatment?  What new side effects might these other drugs have?  Are they as effective?

We are 4 weeks and 4 days through a 12 week chemo schedule.  This trip is a pleasant break from chemo and a celebration of family.  I'll be on the road and enjoying myself.  I'm not going to think about next week and decisions right now.  I am going to breathe, eat and sleep.  I will laugh as much as I can.  I hope you enjoy yourself this weekend too.