Dr. Bethke is the first doctor of all of them to make sense to me. Ok, he is the first one I get to see but not the first one I called for an appointment. He is the sixth or seventh I called for an appointment. He is the ONLY one who sent me instructions. His instructions are titled, "Step-by-Step Guide for Patients with Newly Diagnosed Breast Cancer". Here is the opening paragraphs, "
I’ve created this guide to help you navigate the medical system and to make the journey from initial diagnosis to surgical treatment as easy as possible.
Although you have recently been diagnosed with breast cancer, don’t panic. Often the most difficult aspect of being told you have a newly diagnosed breast cancer is fear of the unknown. This guide will help you gather the necessary information, obtain the appropriate tests and consultations and then make an informed and timely decision.
Together, we need to gather all of the pertinent information (mammograms, ultrasound, MRI, pathology results) and then develop a plan that is tailored to your specific circumstances. You’ll have plenty of time to ask questions, seek second opinions and then make an informed and rational decision that is best for you. Remember, breast cancer is not a medical emergency but it may be a psychological emergency.
And then it is followed with how to do this, who you need to talk to, what to do. By the time I get this, I have already done most of these things. Someone in Radiology ought to give this to you the day they tell you that you have cancer. I especially like the it's not a medical emergency but it is a pyschological one. I keep repeating that in the back of my head. I keep reminding myself NOT to make it such a pyschological issue.
Back to the Lynn Sage Breast Center at Northwestern Memorial Hospital. In the parking garage they have different music on every level so you'll remember which level you are on. Ken jokes that by the time we are done, he will be able to sing all the songs.
My appointment was for 10:00 a.m., we walked in right on time. On time to fill out more forms. The 15 page history questionnaire they sent with the instructions wasn't enough? But they aren't that long and they are just privacy forms. I try hard not to pace waiting in the room. A medical student comes in and takes a perfunctory history. He is half the size of my 16 year old son. It is hard to look at him and think he is a grown up. His hands look like they are shaking. After the history he asks me to sit on the table so he can examine me. I say no, I'll wait for Dr. Bethke. No offense, but there isn't anything to feel. He probably would have gotten me to go along if he had looked and acted more confident, like he had done this at least once before.But I felt like I was his first patient visit.
Dr. Bethke shows up, I am not sure how this will work, Ken is sitting there. I am in a gown. The medical student is there. Are we going to talk in this little tiny examining room with two chairs? But Bethke says, "let's examine you and then we'll go into a conference room to talk." He is older than I think he will be. But he just exudes that air that he is competent. After the exam, where he says, "they are too small to feel" (told you!), we go to a small conference room.
Then he goes through another form about what my options are and how to decide. It's all on a piece of paper. Very helpful. He draws a few pictures, shows a few photographs. We talk about how it is popular for women to get a double mastectomy right now. He says it is because we are assaulted in the media with all this breast cancer. In my brain, I am screaming that maybe it is because THERE IS SO MUCH BREAST CANCER. Overall, he was exceptional. I could trust him. He looked me right in the eye. He answered questions honestly. He didn't say one thing "wrong" or off. He is very experienced. I am keeping an open mind about my options and going to visit more doctors later in the week.
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