Saturday, January 16, 2010

A Rough Few Days-- where is the Pony

I am optimist.  One of my favorite lines is from an old joke.   I don't even remember the whole joke anymore.  Part of it is that two children come home to find their Dad has filled two bedrooms with manure as a present for each of them (I always forget why, I think they were spoiled and he wanted to teach them a lesson).  One child, walks away in disgust.  The other starts digging.  The father asks, "why are you digging?"  The child responds,  "with all this *&;%#,  there must be a pony in here somewhere."

So, Ken and I joke about the pony whenever things are tough. I say, "there must be a pony in here somewhere." I am always looking for the pony.   


I have had a rough few days.  I am tired, tired enough that my son asked me if I was on pain killers this morning or if I was just spacey.  No pain killers yet today; just lack of sleep.   Only three hours last night.   That is not enough even for me. The side effects have been worse than I expected.  Lots of bone pain, body aches, upset stomach.  Worse than the worst flu I have ever had.  I have no energy and am feeling sorry for myself.

Sorry, don't mean to scare anyone.  I think other people don't have this many issues.   I hope anyway.   The nurses have been great.  They have changed my medications twice the last couple days to try and find what will work best.  The next time will be easier they say because we will start with the right combination.  They also think my body will adjust and get used to this. I asked why this many symptoms this early?  They originally told me the side effects wouldn't kick in until around 7 days.  Bone pain is different and happens within a day or two.  I think they forget to mention that one.  I asked, "what symptoms are next?"  And one nurse responded, "hopefully nothing." 

I sat this morning and wondered if she was blatantly lying but I am thinking the pony must be visiting her house.

I will do yoga today and stretch, as soon as my stomach settles down.  That will help.  then I will sleep as much as I can with the help of a pain killer, if I need it.

1 comment:

  1. Hey girl,

    This is an unbelievable account. What a trooper you are: So brutally honest, and such a great writer! I have been off the ATSI list, so just heard about your "fight" last week. (Ashley, my call center manager, monitors the list and sends me weekly summaries) Anyway, you are the 3rd friend diagnosed with breast cancer in 3 months. This darn disease is everywhere, and I am so sorry you have to go through this!
    We missed you last week at the owners forum. I am sure Randy told you; Tyler's presentation on Day 1 was pretty lame, but Patrick Heath was fantastic! I am working with renewed energy on my one page strategic plan, this time I am sticking to it.
    Ok girl, please know I'm pulling for you, take good care of you!
    Jannemieke

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