Narcotic Free New Year

I made a New Years resolution to myself that I wasn't sure I could keep.  I hadn't said it out loud because I was prepared to cut myself some slack if I couldn't keep it.  

I wanted a drug free new year.   My upcoming year is going to be filled with drugs.  Chemo drugs, steroids (to reduce the reaction to the chemo drugs), anti-nauseous medications, shots if my white blood count goes too low, and the ever so attractive laxatives as the drugs (surprise, surprise) mess up your digestion.  Cortisone cream if my skin gets itchy from the drugs.  Neosporin for the nasal sores.    And the threat of more pain killers for bone pain.

So New Years Eve I took one Vicodin before bed and then I stopped.  And I waited.  It is Day three and I haven't had to take any.   I tried to not even take an Advil but I took one a day and one before bed to keep the pain to a dull roar.  Day 2 I felt good enough that I went upstairs and walked on the treadmill for a mile.  Day 3, a mile and a 1/2.  Forty-five minutes of physical therapy and yoga-light each day to improve my range of motion after the walking and then a nap.

Interestingly the level of pain is about the same perhaps just more specific.  I can feel particular muscles that hurt more.  Or I can not feel a particular part of my back where nerves were cut.  But the overall level of pain is the same and I feel clearer. 

I don't feel stupid.  I think pain meds make you groggy and there are many things you can't remember.  Conversations were tougher.  I think back and feel like that many thoughts or words were just outside my grasp of consciousness.   It is hard to have clarity of thought through the medication. 

I am more optimistic without the pain meds.  I was able to spend some time on the internet researching chemo treatment options and protocols.  Most importantly I have been buying lots of hats, scarves and even sleep caps.  I will lose my hair 14-15 days after my first treatment.  I've even bought a cap to wear under my bike helmet. 

I'm all set at the first sign of hair loss to have my head shaved.  My hairdresser and friend, Kevin, has even promised a home visit for the special shearing.  I'm debating about taking pictures of the event.  I'll let you know.