Chemo Fog

Concentration is something that we take for granted.  Not me, not right now.  Right now, every hour of concentration is something that I have to work at.  This round of chemo has also brought me frequent headaches.  I am not complaining, these side effects are tame compared to the bone pain and the muscle pain of the Taxotere.  Actually,  I have a couple of weird things happening all at once right now.  My eyes and head seem to be at the center of the weirdness.

My eyesight has gotten horrible in the last month.  I am not sure what in the chemo is causing that but both nurses have said to me, when you are done you will need an eye exam.  I can't see well enough to read with my contacts, I now have to add cheater magnifying glasses while wearing my contacts to read.  It is very strange, standing in the drugstore, trying to read labels, with contacts in, my wig on and trying to put on cheaters that won't fit around my ears because the wig gets in the way.  And my reading glasses, you guessed it,  give me a headache. 

The funniest example was the other day when I was trying to open a new tube of medicine.  Well you know, that even in the best of circumstances, they make them adult proof.  The cap, which I was struggling to read,  said a variety of things.   It said, "close tightly push down and twist".  Well, I tried to do all three things at once.  I was squeezing the lid and pushing down and twisting.  It just wouldn't work.  I walked into the other room to get Ken to open it.  "How do they expect you to do three things at once," I asked.  "I can't seem to squeeze the top tightly  and push down and twist all at the same time to get it open."  Ken looks at me.  "Chemo fog," is all he said.

It was separate instructions, as I am sure you have all figured out already.  Ken opened it in a second.  Chemo fog.  It is a known side effect.  My neurons just aren't all firing.   Or maybe they have killed too many of them.  I can't seem to pull the little details out that are just sitting there on the edges of my brain.  Names, something that I was never very good at, are now impossible to recall quickly.  I have to stumble around and find them somewhere in my brain.   I always made lists but now, if it isn't on the list, it slips away for hours, if remembered at all. 

I sat through a meeting today with a prospective client and everything was clicking and firing and it went well.  But a couple of hours later, I was exhausted and you guessed it, I had a headache.  I'll take some Advil,  try to get a good nights sleep and that will heal some brain cells.