Final Chemo Treatment was administered

Chemo round 4 went uneventfully.  My friend Ellen came and hung out with me and got to see how boring it all is and how doped up they make me.  She also got to see the beautiful care that I have been getting from the great team at Northwestern.  When you first get in, they take your blood to make sure you your white count is high enough to get the chemo treatment.  Mine was pretty low 4.1.   It is supposed to be between 4 and 10.5.  So I worry that the next two or three weeks I have to stay away from anyone that is sick.  Then off to see the oncologist and who knows what they he and his resident are really looking at or checking on.  Lines from Monty Python ran through my head, "I'm not dead yet," but I didn't say anything.

It feels like I have fallen off a cliff a little bit.  I don't have a next oncology appointment.   I asked, "when will I see you again?"  I felt like it was a date and I was getting dumped when he said, "I'll see you in a couple of months". I wish they would just give me a worksheet.  Some list to check off.  I would be so much more relaxed.  See the surgeon for a follow up then, see the oncologist then, boom.  I'd know.  I'd schedule it. 

Then on to treatment.  Ellen and Ken both came for the big finale.  They pushed in some steroids, some Ativan, and some Benadryl when my side effects started kicking in.  I said goodbye to Lora, the chemo queen.  I had to tell her that as much as I liked her I wouldn't really miss her! Then we went home and I lounged around.   For now, my appetite is completely gone. But I had Ken buy cake donuts, just in case.


So many questions still.  The drugs are just kicking in. I don't think I will have an eyelash or eyebrow left after this round..  And then the climb out of drugs and illness.  One reconstruction surgery in May.   How soon will I be strong enough to exercise?  Now, I can hardly climb stairs.  And still two or three more weeks downhill.



I think it is the mega doses of steroids running through my body at 4 a.m. that has me a little worked up.  I have already done some reviews of reports from work and some email.  But I can feel the headache creeping in and so I am off to try to go back to sleep.  

Looking forward.