My father's father used to tell us when we were very young and driving with him anywhere that where we were going was up the road a piece. He would never answer "the question". The "How long until we get there?" question. Every place was up the road a piece.
I went for a follow up visit to the oncologist yesterday. Six weeks since my last chemo session. Three weeks since I was sinking, now I am on the mend. Or, some days I am on the mend. I went to the doctors with a list of questions in hand. My overall sense is that somehow I have to make friends with my body again. It has changed so much in more ways than I can really share (you don't really want to hear me discuss menopause do you?). So I had issues to discuss with the doctor. Two issues related to menopause and one issue I'll review with you: why am I having so much joint and muscle pain. I feel like I have arthritis and every muscle hurts every time I use it.
Now, let's be clear. My doctor does not tolerate my drama and my humor very well. Ok, he doesn't handle them at all. He ignores them. So, there I am asking questions sincerely, from my little green index card clutched in my hand. "Why do I have so much pain in my joints?" This at least he has an answer for, "your bone marrow is rebuilding." But then I ask the killer follow up question. "How long will this last?" His answer, "a while."
On to muscle aches and pains. Why, I ask. How long? He volleys it back, am I taking any drugs? An occasional Advil, I answer. Does that help, he counters. Yes. Ok, then do that when it hurts, he answers. I feel like saying, DUH! But I push gently, how long will this last. You'll feel better in a while, he says again. A while....
It isn't until today that I realize he is answering symptoms and I am looking for a longer term answer. Perhaps he knows and doesn't want to answer. Perhaps for every person it is different and he can't answer. But the question is still there on the edges of my mind. When will I feel better? Will I ever be back to normal?
And the answer is in "a while" or as my grandfather would say, "up the road a piece".
Hi Michele,
ReplyDeleteJust a few lines to let you know that we are still thinking of you.
DC in the spring can be so nice. Glad you had a couple hours to yourself.
Up the road a piece is probably the most accurate answer that can be given to some of your questions.
Spring has sprung in new england even though northern new england got 20 inches of snow this past week (northern Vermont). It is suppose to be sunny and 80 in our area this weekend. It will be great to spend sometime outside. Hopefully, the weather is warming up in Chicago as well.
Stay strong and Take Care,
Phyllis
Michele,
ReplyDeleteI wanted to take a few moments to tell you that I really enjoy reading & appreciate your posts. Your words are informative,funny,sad and heartfelt all at the same time. Just when I start to feel sad you give us something like "where is the pony?" or "up the road a piece". :)
I really hope that you write a book with all of your posts. You have a way of making people understand and you make us really think about life, everyday life..like the window in your kitchen. I must tell you that every morning when I open my kitchen curtain to let the sun in, I think about you and smile.
Please keep the posts going, you are an inspiration to us all.
As Phyllis said:
Stay Strong and take care.
Sending only good thoughts your way,
Michelle at Proteledata :)