Waiting

It's 6 a.m. and I have been up since 4 a.m.  Waiting is difficult.  It is physical.  This knot in the pit of your stomach.  The tautness in the back of my neck.  I try to meditate.  I try to watch TV (you know there really isn't much on in the middle of the night!).  I try to read and I spent part of the time surfing the internet reading yoga blogs.  I read email.  But my email is way down as I have cut myself off of a ton of work related emails over the past week. 

I did laundry.  Tonight I will decorate the Christmas tree and play Christmas carols.  That will be better perhaps.   The time is winding down and I am stepping off into the unknown.

Somehow I have to make this transition into myself.  I spend so much of my time focusing outward, taking care of everything else.  And right now there is just me to focus on and what I need to take care of is... me.  This is a challenge.